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I just realized. The last time I went to the doctor, I weighed about 112 pounds. Since then, I've lost eight pounds, and now weight 104 pounds.

That's not good. At my weight and height, people don't consider it healthy to lose any weight at all. Mom already nagged me about my weight loss back when I weighed 106 pounds. Imagine what she'll do if we go to the doctor and they tell her I've lost two (or more, the appointment is in about five months) pounds since she last inspected me.

Basically, I'm fucked.

I should probably make goals for myself, like eat all three meals every day, or at least eat lunch and dinner every day, but I know I won't keep to my plan. I'm just... not hungry most of the time.

Today I was starving. I had one and a half pieces of pizza for lunch, and I actually ate dinner despite no one forcing me to. The problem is, to normal people, that's not eating much. 1.5 pieces of pizza and half a bowl of fried rice? That's a single meal. Maybe even half a meal.

But my stomach just can't handle any more food than that. I don't like eating, and at this point I can't eat.

It doesn't really bother me.

I just don't want to be sent to anorexia camp or the hospital or wherever my mom decides to toss me when she finds out that I DON'T FUCKING LIKE FOOD.

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January 2013

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